A Letter to Teens
The theme of this web site promotes a sober lifestyle. The title of the book I wrote is “20 Good Reasons to Stay Sober (even if you don’t have a drinking problem). Your response may be something to the effect of “I’m tired of hearing this stuff. I’ve heard it a thousand times”, or “People just don’t understand me”, or maybe, “I sneak a few beers on the weekends with some friends and get silly. What’s the big fricken deal?”
First of all, you’re free to do whatever you want. That’s right. You’re old enough to pull off whatever it is you wish if you plan it right. I’m not here to stop you and your parents can only control so much of what you do once you get to this age. It’s really up to you to make the daily choices which will determine who and what you will become as you grow older.
Stop and think about this. Everybody (and I mean everybody) “is who they are” and “are where they are" in life as a direct result of the choices they made in the past days and years gone by. You can sit and try to build an argument that some people have good and bad luck, some people have things given to them, and some people are more or less fortunate than others, etc. Some of this may be true but everybody has made decisions on a daily basis (some big decisions, some small) their entire life which have made them who they are today. Take some of the people you would call “successful” or “happy”. On average, these people probably aren’t any smarter or more fortunate than you. It’s more than likely they simply continued to make good decisions throughout their lives.
“Ok, so what’s wrong with having a few beers?” “I like to have fun.” “I want to be cool.” “I love to party.” “I want to fit in.” “I want to be cool.” “I like to relax.” I’ve heard it a thousand times, felt these feelings myself, and lived it. I hear what you’re saying. This is why I wrote “20 Good Reasons”. What I’m asking you to do is read 20 Good Reasons to Stay Sober (it’s a very short book and shouldn’t take you long to read) and really consider some of the concepts and to make wise decisions as you go through life. That’s it.
When it came to having a few (or many) beers with friends at a get-together, party, or club, there were some very good times. I’m not going to deny it. But ultimately the bad times (and absolutely horrible times) outweighed the good a thousand times over. You may be a “good social drinker” and nothing negative ever happen but alcohol is very, very powerful. If you play with fire long enough you’ll eventually get burned (in some form or another).
Don’t get blinded by the lights. Don’t get caught up in what may seem to be “glitz and glamour”. It’s all smoke and mirrors. Believe me. If you think you can’t have a good time without alcohol or a party without alcohol is boring, you’re wrong. You can party, have a good time, relax, and be cool without drinking alcohol. Trust me. It’s what you make of it. It’s your choice to be bored, happy, sad, anxious, excited, or any other emotional feeling you may have. It’s your choice. Whether you’re drinking alcohol or not should not determine your level of “fun” or contentment.
Another thing I’m going to ask you to consider is your friends and the group of people you hang out with. Do these people really have your best interest at heart? Do they really care about you and your well being? If you can answer these two questions with an honest and firm “yes” then hold on to them. If the answer is something like “probably not” it’s totally ok. I’m 38 years old and have only come across a small handful of people in my entire life who I can honestly say “had my best interest at heart”. What I want to suggest here is that you don’t let these people who may not have your personal best interest at heart have any influence on your decision making. Don’t let ANYONE who could care less about your personal well being talk you into doing something you don’t feel comfortable with or you know isn’t the right thing to do. If you lose a so-called “friend” because you chose to do the right thing, then so be it. You’ll be better off in the long run I assure you. Speaking from experience, having no friends is much better than having bad ones. Don’t get caught up in what may appear to be “glitz and glamour”. Don’t get talked into doing something you don’t feel is right in an attempt to fit in or to seek approval from people who really could give a rat’s behind about you.
I’m not here to preach. I hated to be preached at. I just have your best interest at heart and this stuff is so important for you to get. This is YOUR LIFE FOR YOU TO LIVE. The decisions you make today and tomorrow will determine who you are and who you will become in the years that lie ahead of you. If you screw up and make a bad decision, hopefully the consequences won’t be so severe that you’ll have the opportunity to choose again. Learn from the mistakes you’ve made as well as the mistakes of others.
Your teen years are very important years. You're laying a foundation for who you will become as an adult. Remember that who you are today is not as important as who you are becoming day by day.
Choose wisely,
Dave
dave@reasonstostaysober.com
If you have any feedback, or if you have any questions, please feel free to send over a message. I check my messages regularly. I’d be happy to hear from ya.