Alcohol Use, Abuse, and Dependence

 

If you drink alcohol, you probably fit into one of three categories:

 

1)      A User- Someone who drinks minimally from time-to-time (for whatever the reason). No issues. No problems. Always in total control.

 

2)      An Abuser- Someone who consciously or subconsciously uses alcohol and its sedative effects to deal with certain circumstances, specific emotions, or specific feelings. This may be regular or semi-regular.

 

3)      Dependant- Someone who is physically addicted to alcohol or someone who is so emotionally broken that alcohol (or other related substances) is needed to cope with life’s normally everyday circumstances.

 

Take a good close look at your drinking habits. What category would you say you fit into?

 

Some people only drink in ritualistic situations or circumstances “just because”. Some people only drink when they experience certain emotions or feelings. Some people will only drink a couple glasses of wine “to take the edge off”. In most of these cases (not all) alcohol and its sedative effects are being used to drowned out or dull feelings of fear, anxiety, emptiness, inferiority, boredom, loneliness, excitement, a spiritual void, or a general sense of discontentment in order to better deal with feelings or circumstances at that particular time.  My questions to these people are, “What’s going on upstairs? What are you not OK with? Why can’t you enjoy or appreciate the situation or circumstance at hand without having drinks? What exactly are you not content with?

 

Here’s the bottom line: WE WANT TO FEEL GOOD!

 

Alcohol is a big part of our culture. As a society, it’s just something we drink. It makes us feel different than we did before we started drinking. It gives us a false sense of security. It leads us believe we’re “partying”. My belief is that in order to grow emotionally and spiritually as an individual, one must learn to deal with and appreciate circumstances, feelings, and emotions without using alcohol (or anything else) in an attempt to numb (or enhance) the emotion. We also must learn to have a good time or learn to appreciate the current circumstances without alcohol. These are extremely underrated concepts when it comes to alcohol use amongst young people.  When a person first starts drinking they don’t consciously say to themselves, “I’m going to have a few drinks in order to numb a specific feeling or emotion right now.”  Alcohol is used “progressively”.  This means that as we walk the path of alcohol experimentation we feel and learn of its effects on us individually and we begin to use it to alter our state of consciousness accordingly (consciously or sub-consciously). 

 

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Here, we teach and promote a sober lifestyle.  Why is this important? Remember, who and what you are today is not as important as who and what you are becoming day by day.  If you’re not interested in self improvement, searching out and living true meaning in your life, positively growing as an individual (emotionally and spiritually), and maximizing your life’s potential then this stuff really isn’t important at all.  I would venture to say that most of us have a burning desire deep within ourselves to become "better than we used to be" and to seek true meaning in our lives.

 

I believe total abstinence from alcohol is the best solution. If total abstinence doesn’t seem like a good option for you, then you need to ask yourself “Why not?”  Maybe you’re not exactly clear of the benefits you’ll gain over the long haul by total abstinence. Maybe you’re looking down the long tunnel of life but can’t see past your hand. Maybe you can only see yourself as being “deprived” of a good time.

 

Here is some material which is unrelated to alcohol which may help enlighten you (which I have found to be extremely useful and helpful in looking at my own life)...

 

1) The Secrets of the Power of Intention- 6 CD Set; Dr. Wayne Dyer

 

Intention is generally viewed as a pit-bull kind of determination propelling one to succeed at all costs by never giving up on an inner picture. In this view, an attitude that combines hard work with an indefatigable drive toward excellence is the way to succeed. However, intention is viewed very differently in this book. Dr. Wayne W. Dyer has researched intention as a force in the universe that allows the act of creation to take place. This audio program explores intention—not as something you do—but as an energy you’re a part of. We’re all intended here through the invisible power of intention. This is the first book to look at intention as a field of energy that you can access to begin co-creating your life with the power of intention.

Part I deals with the principles of intention, offering true stories and examples on ways to make the connection. Dr. Dyer identifies the attributes of the all-creating universal mind of intention as creative, kind, loving, beautiful, expanding, endlessly abundant, and receptive, explaining the importance of emulating this source of creativity. In Part II, Dr. Dyer offers an intention guide with specific ways to apply the co-creating principles in daily life. Part III is an exhilarating description of Dr. Dyer’s vision of a world in harmony with the universal mind of intention.

I've listened to this lecture no less than 10 times. The teachings in this lecture changed my outlook on life forever.

2) Man’s Search for Meaning; Dr. Viktor E. Frankl

 

Psychiatrist Viktor Frankl's memoir has riveted generations of readers with its descriptions of life in Nazi death camps and its lessons for spiritual survival. Between 1942 and 1945 Frankl labored in four different camps, including Auschwitz, while his parents, brother, and pregnant wife perished. Based on his own experience and the experiences of those he treated in his practice, Frankl argues that we cannot avoid suffering but we can choose how to cope with it, find meaning in it, and move forward with renewed purpose. Frankl's theory—known as logotherapy, from the Greek word logos ("meaning")—holds that our primary drive in life is not pleasure, as Freud maintained, but the discovery and pursuit of what we personally find meaningful.

At the time of Frankl's death in 1997, Man's Search for Meaning had sold more than 10 million copies in twenty-four languages. A 1991 reader survey by the Library of Congress and the Book-of-the-Month Club that asked readers to name a "book that made a difference in your life" found Man's Search for Meaning among the ten most influential books in America.

 

Dr. Wayne Dyer recommended this book in the "Power of Intention" lecture. A great book and highly recommended for anyone to read.

 

3) Power vs. Force: The Hidden Determinants of Human Behavior; David R. Hawkins

 

Another book recommended by Dr. Wayne Dyer.  In this book you'll learn that everything has energy which can be calibrated. Everything. Including you! This book took 25 years of research to write. The information contained in this book is nothing less than a revelation.  If you are seeking enlightenment, this is a must read. (I'm a lazy reader, so I listened to the audio book version.)

 

 

All three of these items can be purchase through Amazon.com by clicking on the item on the menu to the left. Hint: Don't click the "Buy from Amazon" button in the box. It will take you directly to a shopping cart. Instead, click the underlined text within the box or click the book cover itself. This will take you to the Amazon product page. Here you'll have the opportunity to read the reviews and other product information before you make the decision to buy.

 

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If none of these solutions have worked for you, then you may require something a bit more intensive…a support group.  It’s probably not what you wanted to hear but an organization like Alcoholics Anonymous has helped a countless number of people stop drinking.  Your ego is going to tell you things like, “I’m too good for that crap”, “I’m not as bad off as those people”, "I haven't sunk to that level", “I’m not going to sit with a group of losers and talk about my problems”, “I’m better than those people”. 

In the book "Power vs. Force" by Dr. David Hawkins listed above, he makes several references to self-help groups and the power they have. Here are some quotes from the book "Power vs. Force"...

"In AA, it's said that there can be no recovery until the subject experiences an essential change of personality."

Advice Carl Jung gave Rowland H.- "Throw yourself wholeheartedly into any spiritual group that appeals to you, whether you believe in it or not, and hope that in your case a miracle may occur."

 

 

AA is not a bad place. I hated it when I first went. There are several factors that ultimately saved my own life, but the things I learned and the people I met in AA played a big part. The people in AA are simply “people who have lost the ability to control their drinking.” The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking. The meeting is free, they have free coffee, they'll welcome you with open arms, and they probably have a meeting going on somewhere near you right now. All you have to do is show up and listen. Click the link below to find you local central office phone number. Then call the number and tell them you're looking for a meeting. Most local offices have their own web site and you'll probably be directed to it to download a meeting list for your area. Click the link below to get the right number...

 

AA Local Office Phone List

 

If you have any questions about AA or you are a little skeptical about it, feel free to send me a message. I'll try to answer any questions you may have about it. If you need to talk to someone right away, call the AA Main Office number at (212) 870-3400 or visit the link above and get the phone number to your local AA office. They can help.

 

 

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If you find it difficult to stop drinking and you’ve tried reading the books and you’ve tried a support group such as AA, then maybe you need some really intensive inpatient therapy, such as a treatment center. 

 

When I first tried to stop drinking, I had gone to several AA meetings with a crappy attitude and it really didn’t work for me at that time.  I’ll spare you the details but I ended up at an inpatient treatment center for three months and then went on to live three more months in a sober living home.  Was I cured at this point? Negative, but I was much better off after I got out than I was when I went in.  I still had several “blowouts” left in me after treatment but the time that I spent in treatment gave me an excellent foundation to work off of in the years to come. After treatment, I continued going to AA meetings (with a different attitude) which helped me quite a bit. I would recommend a treatment facility to anyone who has got to the point where alcohol abuse or alcohol dependency has become a life or death situation.

 

If you’re toying with the idea of entering a treatment facility, call this number for a free assessment and referral.  These people are there to help you (as they did me). Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed; it’s one of the best phone calls I ever made in my life. Call 800-550-0467.

 

 

Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.

We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics.  This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed. We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals - usually brief - were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization.  We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness.  Over any considerable period we get worse, never better.

 

 

I hope you find some of this information somewhat useful. Feel free to send me a message with any comments, feedback, or suggestions.

 

God bless you and your quest for peace,

 

Dave

dave@reasonstostaysober.com