Alcohol Use, Abuse, and Dependence
If you drink alcohol, you probably fit into one of three categories:
1) A User- Someone who drinks minimally from time-to-time (for whatever the reason). No issues. No problems. Always in total control.
2) An Abuser- Someone who consciously or subconsciously uses alcohol and its sedative effects to deal with certain circumstances, specific emotions, or specific feelings. This may be regular or semi-regular.
3) Dependant- Someone who is physically addicted to alcohol or someone who is so emotionally broken that alcohol (or other related substances) is needed to cope with life’s normally everyday circumstances.
Take a good close look at your drinking habits. What category would you say you fit into?
Some people only drink in ritualistic situations or circumstances “just because”. Some people only drink when they experience certain emotions or feelings. Some people will only drink a couple glasses of wine “to take the edge off”. In most of these cases (not all) alcohol and its sedative effects are being used to drowned out or dull feelings of fear, anxiety, emptiness, inferiority, boredom, loneliness, excitement, a spiritual void, or a general sense of discontentment in order to better deal with feelings or circumstances at that particular time. My questions to these people are, “What’s going on upstairs? What are you not OK with? Why can’t you enjoy or appreciate the situation or circumstance at hand without having drinks? What exactly are you not content with?
Here’s the bottom line: WE WANT TO FEEL GOOD!
Alcohol is a big part of our culture. As a society, it’s just something we drink. It makes us feel different than we did before we started drinking. It gives us a false sense of security. It leads us believe we’re “partying”. My belief is that in order to grow emotionally and spiritually as an individual, one must learn to deal with and appreciate circumstances, feelings, and emotions without using alcohol (or anything else) in an attempt to numb (or enhance) the emotion. We also must learn to have a good time or learn to appreciate the current circumstances without alcohol. These are extremely underrated concepts when it comes to alcohol use amongst young people. When a person first starts drinking they don’t consciously say to themselves, “I’m going to have a few drinks in order to numb a specific feeling or emotion right now.” Alcohol is used “progressively”. This means that as we walk the path of alcohol experimentation we feel and learn of its effects on us individually and we begin to use it to alter our state of consciousness accordingly (consciously or sub-consciously).
Here, we teach and promote a sober lifestyle. Why is this important? Remember, who and what you are today is not as important as who and what you are becoming day by day. If you’re not interested in self improvement, searching out and living true meaning in your life, positively growing as an individual (emotionally and spiritually), and maximizing your life’s potential then this stuff really isn’t important at all.
I believe total abstinence from alcohol is the best solution. If total abstinence doesn’t seem like a good option for you, then you need to ask yourself “Why not?” Maybe you’re not exactly clear of the benefits you’ll gain over the long haul by total abstinence. Maybe you’re looking down the long tunnel of life but can’t see past your hand. Maybe you can only see yourself as being “deprived” of a good time.
Here is some material which is unrelated to alcohol which may help enlighten you (which I have found to be extremely useful and helpful in looking at my own life)...
1) The Secrets of the Power of Intention- 6 CD Set; Dr. Wayne Dyer
2) Man’s Search for Meaning; Dr. Viktor E. Frankl
3) Power vs. Force: The Hidden Determinants of Human Behavior; David R. Hawkins
All three of these items can be purchase through Amazon.com by clicking on the item on the menu to the left. Hint: Don't click the "Buy from Amazon" button in the box. It will take you directly to a shopping cart. Instead, click the underlined text within the box or click the book cover itself. This will take you to the Amazon product page. Here you'll have the opportunity to read the reviews and other product information before you make the decision to buy.
If you have made an attempt (or several attempts) to stop drinking -for whatever the reasons- but have found it difficult in doing so, then you might take a look at this book...
The Easy Way to Stop Drinking; Allen Carr
This book is also located on the menu to the left. I have never read this book cover to cover but I did pick up a copy and browse through it while cruising through a Barnes and Noble bookstore one day. While browsing through the book I found the instructions very interesting. I came home and looked it up on Amazon.com and found that it has 26 reviews with a total of 4.5 out of 5 stars. I give you "20 Good Reasons to Stay Sober" and Allen Carr tells you how to do it. I would recommend that you give this book a shot.
Once again, don't click the "Buy from Amazon" button. Click the underlined text or the book cover so you can read the reviews.
If none of these solutions have worked for you, then you may require something a bit more intensive…a support group. It’s probably not what you wanted to hear but an organization like Alcoholics Anonymous has helped a countless number of people stop drinking. Your ego is going to tell you things like, “I’m too good for that crap”, “I’m not as bad off as those people”, "I haven't sunk to that level", “I’m not going to sit with a group of losers and talk about my problems”, “I’m better than those people”.
AA is not a bad place. I hated it when I first went. There are several factors that ultimately saved my own life, but the things I learned and the people I met in AA played a big part. The people in AA are simply “people who have lost the ability to control their drinking.” The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking. The meeting is free, they have free coffee, they'll welcome you with open arms, and they probably have a meeting going on somewhere near you right now. All you have to do is show up and listen. Click the link below to find you local central office phone number. Then call the number and tell them you're looking for a meeting. Most local offices have their own web site and you'll probably be directed to it to download a meeting list for your area. Click the link below to get the right number...
AA Local Office Phone List
If you have any questions about AA or you are a little skeptical about it, feel free to send me a message. I'll try to answer any questions you may have about it. If you need to talk to someone right away, call the AA Main Office number at (212) 870-3400 or visit the link above and get the phone number to your local AA office. They can help.
If you find it difficult to stop drinking and you’ve tried reading the books and you’ve tried a support group such as AA, then maybe you need some really intensive inpatient therapy, such as a treatment center.
When I first tried to stop drinking, I had gone to several AA meetings with a crappy attitude and it really didn’t work for me at that time. I’ll spare you the details but I ended up at an inpatient treatment center for three months and then went on to live three more months in a sober living home. Was I cured at this point? Negative, but I was much better off after I got out than I was when I went in. I still had several “blowouts” left in me after treatment but the time that I spent in treatment gave me an excellent foundation to work off of in the years to come. After treatment, I continued going to AA meetings (with a different attitude) which helped me quite a bit. I would recommend a treatment facility to anyone who has got to the point where alcohol abuse or alcohol dependency has become a life or death situation.
If you’re toying with the idea of entering a treatment facility, call this number for a free assessment and referral. These people are there to help you (as they did me). Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed; it’s one of the best phone calls I ever made in my life. Call 800-550-0467.
I hope you find some of this information somewhat useful. Feel free to send me a message with any comments, feedback, or suggestions.
Thanks,
Dave
dave@reasonstostaysober.com